Sunday, Sunday

Bloody Margaret

We did not make it to 11:00am Mass on Sunday as I had wanted. That was okay, though, because I really want Spane to be able to sleep as much as he can. Poor thing, going to bed a one o'clock in the morning, head aches, voices.

On Sundays, I also have therapy. It's a little odd, because I am going to my therapist as a survivor of Domestic Violence with Spane's father, Douglas. It's odd because Spane in many ways is turning into his father. I really like my therapist, and it was a great thing to be able to tell her about all that has been going on with Spane, and how our relationship is evolving.

After we finished with therapy, we went to Red Robin and had dinner. It was Spane's first time having fried clams, and he loved them. We had five minutes to go into Sur Le Table, and then we went to 5:30 Mass at Holy Family Catholic Community.

I really like the 5:30 Mass because there is a special time after the Communion Rite where the lights are turned off, and we can pray in darkness for about 3 minutes. It's really wonderful. I prayed for God's guidance in helping Spane.

When we got home, Amber called and said she would like to come over, and have some girl time. When Spane asked why she was here, she said "Well, if you guys come over to my house, you complain, so I thought it I came here - you wouldn't."

I made Bloody Margarets for us. They were delicious. Amber and I took some time talking about things that mothers talk about, and then she said she needed to go home to her own family.

This entire time, Spane had been playing on the computer. I liked those Bloody Margarets so much that I decided I should blog about them right away so I wouldn't forget how to make them. Spane did not want to get off the computer.

I told him that he needed to go to bed, that it was tiem for little children to be in bed. He defiantly told me no, and I tried to pull him off the computer.

I am ashamed at myself. In some way, Spane managed to get into a position where my hands were around his neck, and God forgive me, I squeezed just a little until he told me to stop.

There was a lot of yelling and screaming. His head hurt, my patience was wearing really thin. It was very, very tiring, and when I finally got Spane to bed, it was nearly two am.

I am tired and I want my child back!