Spane told me last night that he was afraid to go to bed. That's why we had such a bad time yesterday.
We had a good discussion this morning of how the voices work. It's been a while since they've been around - they were suppressed by the Seroquel. I thought I should ask him in the morning before the "beaties" come out.
Spane said that the voices are very loud, and often scream at him. He said that the ONLY time they come is when he has a headache, which usually starts around dusk.
That means to me, if we can keep the headaches away, we can keep the voices away. So, I told Spane to let me know if there is even a HINT of a headache coming, I'll give him some pain medication, and hopefully the beasties won't even get a chance to come!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Back to Days of Atonement
Well, my idea that Spane would be okay without the Benedril was really, really wrong. What happened last night brought me right back to where we were in September of 2010 [read document]
Spane didn't feel good, probably because he's gotten the same cold that's been going around our group of friends. I thought he would probably go to bed early because of it.
At 8:30 pm Wednesday night, I asked Spane if he would like to play Mille Borne with me, and he said yes. I figured a short game, and then he would go to bed. We played, he lost.
There was a really good show on Nova, and Spane asked if he could stay up and watch it. I said if he was quiet, and sat on the sofa with me, and promised to go to bed at 10:00 pm, he could.
Of course, at 10:00 pm, he wanted to stay up more. He came up with every excuse in the book, he wasn't tired, he was hungry, and I just kept telling him to go to bed. Finally, I tried to give him some pain reliever thinking he had a headache.
He was resistant, so in trying to hold his mouth open, I mistakenly pulled his hair. He opened his mouth, I put the aspirin in, he spit it out and ran off to the kitchen.
I apologized, offered him more medicine, and then put a bag of frozen vegetables on his head. He wanted to lay on the sofa. I wanted him to go to bed. Finally, I relented and let him lay on the sofa with the bag on his head. I got him to take the aspirin. When he felt better, I told him to go to bed. He refused. He said it wasn't fair that he had to go to bed when I got to stay up as long as I wanted to.
I tried to explain to him that everyone needs a little wind down time before they go to bed, and that was what I wanted to do, and would join him soon. He wanted to sleep in the living room, I didn't want him to because I needed my wind down time, and I can't do that with him talking to me.
To appease him, I said I would go to bed with him right then, and I put on my pajamas and got a book to read. Of course, that was also a battle because he complained about the light. By this time, I was getting a little tired myself, so I got up and turned off the light.
Shades of last summer! Spane insisted on covering me with pillows and stuffed animals, laughing all the time. It was maniacal laugher. It was scaring me, and I felt powerless. He wasn't even getting any less hyper, in fact, it was increasing. Finally, I turned over and started tickling him. Then, when he couldn't take it anymore, he jumped up and went into the bathroom.
I got up, fixed the blankets, and laid down again. Spane came in, grabbed all the blankets and went back into the bathroom, saying he was going to sleep in there. I said fine, and shut my eyes.
A few minutes later, he came back with a blanket and covered me. He was crying. He was saying that he was a really bad child, and that he didn't deserve to have a blanket. I tried to comfort him, but he would not take a blanket, even though he said he was freezing. Then he said he didn't even deserve a bed, and left saying he was going to sleep on the floor in the living room.
That scared me to no end. He sounded so despondent I was afraid he might try to hurt himself.
I got up and followed him, reached down to him on the floor, and told him the everyone has bad days, and he just had a bad day. I told him he was a great kid, that I loved him very much. He still insisted that he was bad. I asked him to sit with me on the sofa, and when he did, I hugged him and kissed him, and tried to bring his spirits back.
By this time, it was 12:30 in the morning. He wasn't sleepy at all, and I was out of ideas. Then I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie, so we got Kung Fu Panda 2 on demand and watched that. We split a baloney sandwich, too.
I thought that he would fall asleep watching the movie, but it was me who found myself nodding towards the end. When it was over, I said I was going to bed. He didn't seem to be in any danger, so I thought it was okay to do that.
He got in bed with me, and hugged me, still not wanting a blanket. Then he told me that he didn't have any friends. He just sounded so sad. Finally, about 3:30 am, I heard him snoring.
He's home today because he really didn't feel good this morning at 8:30 when I tried to wake him up. He got up at 11:00 this morning, and looked sick. He's watching TV.
I'm going to the pharmacy and getting him some Benedril.
Spane didn't feel good, probably because he's gotten the same cold that's been going around our group of friends. I thought he would probably go to bed early because of it.
At 8:30 pm Wednesday night, I asked Spane if he would like to play Mille Borne with me, and he said yes. I figured a short game, and then he would go to bed. We played, he lost.
There was a really good show on Nova, and Spane asked if he could stay up and watch it. I said if he was quiet, and sat on the sofa with me, and promised to go to bed at 10:00 pm, he could.
Of course, at 10:00 pm, he wanted to stay up more. He came up with every excuse in the book, he wasn't tired, he was hungry, and I just kept telling him to go to bed. Finally, I tried to give him some pain reliever thinking he had a headache.
He was resistant, so in trying to hold his mouth open, I mistakenly pulled his hair. He opened his mouth, I put the aspirin in, he spit it out and ran off to the kitchen.
I apologized, offered him more medicine, and then put a bag of frozen vegetables on his head. He wanted to lay on the sofa. I wanted him to go to bed. Finally, I relented and let him lay on the sofa with the bag on his head. I got him to take the aspirin. When he felt better, I told him to go to bed. He refused. He said it wasn't fair that he had to go to bed when I got to stay up as long as I wanted to.
I tried to explain to him that everyone needs a little wind down time before they go to bed, and that was what I wanted to do, and would join him soon. He wanted to sleep in the living room, I didn't want him to because I needed my wind down time, and I can't do that with him talking to me.
To appease him, I said I would go to bed with him right then, and I put on my pajamas and got a book to read. Of course, that was also a battle because he complained about the light. By this time, I was getting a little tired myself, so I got up and turned off the light.
Shades of last summer! Spane insisted on covering me with pillows and stuffed animals, laughing all the time. It was maniacal laugher. It was scaring me, and I felt powerless. He wasn't even getting any less hyper, in fact, it was increasing. Finally, I turned over and started tickling him. Then, when he couldn't take it anymore, he jumped up and went into the bathroom.
I got up, fixed the blankets, and laid down again. Spane came in, grabbed all the blankets and went back into the bathroom, saying he was going to sleep in there. I said fine, and shut my eyes.
A few minutes later, he came back with a blanket and covered me. He was crying. He was saying that he was a really bad child, and that he didn't deserve to have a blanket. I tried to comfort him, but he would not take a blanket, even though he said he was freezing. Then he said he didn't even deserve a bed, and left saying he was going to sleep on the floor in the living room.
That scared me to no end. He sounded so despondent I was afraid he might try to hurt himself.
I got up and followed him, reached down to him on the floor, and told him the everyone has bad days, and he just had a bad day. I told him he was a great kid, that I loved him very much. He still insisted that he was bad. I asked him to sit with me on the sofa, and when he did, I hugged him and kissed him, and tried to bring his spirits back.
By this time, it was 12:30 in the morning. He wasn't sleepy at all, and I was out of ideas. Then I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie, so we got Kung Fu Panda 2 on demand and watched that. We split a baloney sandwich, too.
I thought that he would fall asleep watching the movie, but it was me who found myself nodding towards the end. When it was over, I said I was going to bed. He didn't seem to be in any danger, so I thought it was okay to do that.
He got in bed with me, and hugged me, still not wanting a blanket. Then he told me that he didn't have any friends. He just sounded so sad. Finally, about 3:30 am, I heard him snoring.
He's home today because he really didn't feel good this morning at 8:30 when I tried to wake him up. He got up at 11:00 this morning, and looked sick. He's watching TV.
I'm going to the pharmacy and getting him some Benedril.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Two for One
We went to see Dr. Red today and Clara together so we could go over a treatment plan for Spane. Dr. Red again emphasized that Seroquel was not a good choice, and gave me a prescription for Benedril instead.
I thought we already had some in the medicine cabinet, so I didn't fill the prescription. Spane went to bed around 11pm, which wasn't so bad. I don't think it's going to be that bad.
I hate the idea of having Spane on Benedril again, like he was before he was diagnosed with Dandy Walker. I'm going to see just how bad it gets and decide from there. So far, so good.
I thought we already had some in the medicine cabinet, so I didn't fill the prescription. Spane went to bed around 11pm, which wasn't so bad. I don't think it's going to be that bad.
I hate the idea of having Spane on Benedril again, like he was before he was diagnosed with Dandy Walker. I'm going to see just how bad it gets and decide from there. So far, so good.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Following the Schedule
That computer is WONDERFUL. I told Spane that I had put a timer on the computer so it would shut off at 9 pm, and he was fine with it. When the computer shut itself off, he got up, kissed me, and went to bed!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
A Three Hour Tour...
Yesterday, Spane and I took the train to Santa Clarita to help Theresa install her printer to her new computer, and install some virus software. It should have taken about three hours, maximum.
When we got there, I asked Theresa if she had heard anything from Douglas, and she said that, of course, Douglas had accused me of trying to keep Spane from seeing him. What a jerk! He refuses to even think that he might have hurt Spane so much when he threatened him with foster care. Like everything else, he refuses to take any responsibility.
Well, let me tell you a little bit about Hewlett Packard. They sell cheap printers that work just fine until you decide to upgrade your operating system. Then, when you try to install your old printer, you are informed that you have to roll back your operating system to one that the printer will accept. They do not make drivers for the new operating system. You have no choice but to go out and get a new printer. No other printer manufacturer does this - every other manufacturer has patches you can download to make the drivers acceptable.
Of course, Theresa had an older printer that was not compatible. We went on-line and looked for other printers that were in her price range that did not have that practice, and found a really nice wireless all-in-one printer from Epson. It's a great printer, I highly recommend the Epson Workforce printer.
They also have their Internet through AT&T, which means that they have a proprietary combination modem and router. If you change anything on it, like its CSID, it will stop broadcasting. It took a technician from AT&T and I almost an hour to figure that out. Not a fun thing to do.
We didn't get home until almost 12:30 this morning. I'm tired, my back hurts from sitting on the floor for two hours, and I'm not doing anything today.
Thank God for Spane. He's such a good boy, he cleaned the bathroom with bleach and cleaned up the living room, too. I love my son!
When we got there, I asked Theresa if she had heard anything from Douglas, and she said that, of course, Douglas had accused me of trying to keep Spane from seeing him. What a jerk! He refuses to even think that he might have hurt Spane so much when he threatened him with foster care. Like everything else, he refuses to take any responsibility.
Well, let me tell you a little bit about Hewlett Packard. They sell cheap printers that work just fine until you decide to upgrade your operating system. Then, when you try to install your old printer, you are informed that you have to roll back your operating system to one that the printer will accept. They do not make drivers for the new operating system. You have no choice but to go out and get a new printer. No other printer manufacturer does this - every other manufacturer has patches you can download to make the drivers acceptable.
Of course, Theresa had an older printer that was not compatible. We went on-line and looked for other printers that were in her price range that did not have that practice, and found a really nice wireless all-in-one printer from Epson. It's a great printer, I highly recommend the Epson Workforce printer.
They also have their Internet through AT&T, which means that they have a proprietary combination modem and router. If you change anything on it, like its CSID, it will stop broadcasting. It took a technician from AT&T and I almost an hour to figure that out. Not a fun thing to do.
We didn't get home until almost 12:30 this morning. I'm tired, my back hurts from sitting on the floor for two hours, and I'm not doing anything today.
Thank God for Spane. He's such a good boy, he cleaned the bathroom with bleach and cleaned up the living room, too. I love my son!
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