Daddy's Home

Douglas is Out

Douglas, Spane's biological father, has been in and out of jail as long as I have known him. He's not a violent criminal, he's an alcoholic, drug abuser, who gets manic at dusk, and can then get violent. This time, he got 3 months for something really stupid - and it seems that he had the bad luck of being stopped by an officer who was training a recruit, and it had to look really good.

I had asked his friend, Pauly, not to say anything to him about Spane's condition until I talked to him. Apparently, he did not as Douglas at first said that I was making a big deal out of nothing. Then I started telling him what was really going on, he listened, and was then amazed.

I told Douglas about the headaches, the hearing of voices, seeing 42 people with Bully written on them, nightmares, stomach pains, the manic at night. I told him it was a very serious matter, and that Spane was taking Seroquel prescribed by his new psychiatrist.

I reminded Douglas that when I had first met him he had had really bad headaches, that started right around sunset, and that was also around the time when he would get manic. When he was actually in a prison he was diagnosed as schizophrenic, and given medication to help it. He told me he had been changed to several medications, but none of them seem to be working right.

Is Dad Like This, Too?

The symptoms that Douglas has just seem so similar to Spane's, and when Douglas called me later, just at sunset to tell me he had a huge headache, I was not surprised. I am quite sure that if Douglas were to get tested for Dandy Walker, he would pass with flying colors. I'm glad that Spane was diagnosed when he was - maybe there is hope for both of them.

So What Have I Learned Today?

My theory about Spane getting nasty with me because he was suffering from a headache had turned out to be true. Shortly after talking to Douglas, I asked Spane if he would like a pain medication, and sheepishly said yes. That was about 6:30 p.m, and I gave him his voices medicine , Seroquel, at about 8 p.m.

Spane wanted to play Monopoly, so I asked him to clean up the toys in the living room, and clean off the dining room table while I washed the dishes. He was very accommodating, and in fact took extra care to actually wash the table.

Spane likes to be the banker, and he likes everything in its place. He's a good little banker, even when the Seroquel is making him a little sleepy. I told him we would play until 10:00 p.m., and then I wanted him to take a bath and go to bed. He said that was fine, as long as we could keep the game on the table and start off the next day.

Well, that was going along just fine until Rolo came back from her nightly constitutional, and jumped on the table so we couldn't play our game. The picture at left was taken in 2010 on another day when Rolo didn't want us to play.

Spane took his shower, and when he came out, he didn't seem to be too sleepy, so I told him he could watch TV for fifteen minutes, but he had to pick up whatever toys he had on the floor. He didn't want to do that. He brought me a little piece of paper at 11:00 p.m. that had the word pain on it. I gave him a pain pill, and told him he needed to lay down and get some sleep. This was starting to get into an argument, and I reminded him that he could lose going to Noelle's party on Saturday if he did not comply. Then I said he could take a book or watch a tape to help go to sleep.

Finally, he was asleep at 1:00. I went to bed at 1:30 and fell right to sleep.

So, the moral of the story is for me - check for a headache first, then give medication, and wait until the pain subsides before allowing my child to push any of my buttons.