Just Don't Pay Attention to the Voices

Getting the Sacrament of Reconciliation - aka Going to Confession

Yesterday during the day went pretty well. Since this upheaval, we have not been going to Sunday Mass for about a month, and we needed to have the Sacrament of Reconciliation, both of us. You cannot have the Sacrament of Communion if you are not in a state of grace, and not making the obligation to attend Mass will put you out of of that state.

Spane had his First Holy Communion on May 15, 2011, when he had attained the age of reason. He's still a little guy though, and he said he felt a little rusty about what to do in the confessional, and what he should confess.

As his mother, it is my responsibility to bring him up according to our faith, but I can't dictate what is in his heart, and I cannot go into the confessional with him. What he says to Jesus in the confessional is between him and the priest acting as Jesus.

I told him that he should look into his heart and tell the priest what he was truly sorry for. It doesn't do any good to confess something and not be truly sorry for doing it. I suggested he tell the priest about kicking me in the shin since it was recent and easy for him to remember. I also told him that if he forgot to confess something because he really didn't remember, that was okay, too.

I went to the confessional before Spane did, and was pleased to see it was one of my favorite priests, who knows Spane well. I told him about what was going on, sought his advice, and Father said to pray for Jesus' guidance. He absolved me of my sins, and I left.

I was sitting in the pew, praying, while Spane was in with Father, and then he came out and sat next to me and said The Our Father four times. Later he said Father said he only needed to say it once, but Spane thought four times was better. I love my son!

We went home and had our hamburger picnic on the front porch again, then we watched TV together, and I waited for the storm to begin.

You Don't Pay Any Attention to Me, Why Pay Attention to Them?

So, when the voices did show up it was about 9pm, and Spane did not want to take a bath and get ready for bed.

Me

Spane, if you take a bath, you'll feel better, and you can get on the computer afterwards. Okay?

Spane

No, Mommy, they are making my head really hurt.

Me

They are there now?

Spane

Yes

Me

What are they telling you?

Spane

They are telling me I should throw the most important thing to you, your computer.

Me

I'm glad you're not paying attention to them! Do you want to come with me and I'll run a bath for you?

Spane

No, Mommy, they will hurt me

Me (taking Spane's hand)

Hold my hand, honey and squeeze it if they start hurting you.

Spane (as I am trying to pull him out of the chair)

No, Mommy, they are hurting me too much!

I sat down and gave up for a while. About a half an hour later, I convinced Spane to get in the tub. When he finally came out, about 20 minutes later, he told me that if he put his ears under water he only heard that water, and not the voices! That's a good thing!

Still Did Not Get to Bed Until Late

Spane still wanted to get on the computer for an hour, and I told him he could, but then when the hour was over, of course, the voices told him not to pay attention to me. That's when I said to him, "Honey, you can beat this! You already don't pay attention to me, just do the same thing to them, don't pay attention."

I hate living like this. Spane doesn't want to go to sleep because the voices are bad when he's trying to fall asleep, so he wants to stay up really late. I wind up falling asleep on the couch, then he comes and lays on top of me, and we finally go to bed.

Wash the Cat

I decided it was high time I washed our cat, Rolo, this morning, and woke Spane up at 9:30 to help me. He was really sleepy, but maybe he'll want to go to bed earlier tonight. We'll see!