Spane Goes to the Hospital

Monday and Tuesday were a whirl of activity, trying to get accepted into shelter and finding money to keep us afloat.  Wednesday, we saw Spane's therapist, and she was concerned about what had happened that Sunday.  She said that if Spane ever said anything like that again, that I was to immediately call 911.

As it happened, after seeing Clara, and getting ready for bed, Spane said that he didn't want to go to school the next day, for whatever reasons he may have had.  It started into a fight.  Spane finally said the magic words "I would kill you, but there isn't anything here to kill you with."  I did indeed call 911.

When the police arrived, they were very nice to Spane, and said they would take him to Glendale Adventist.  They had handcuffed him, but put his jacket over so they could not be seen.  We both got into the back of the police car.and they took us to the hospital.

That hospital doens't have a children's mental health ward, so we waited for two days for a bed at another hospital. There was a guard at the door to keep Spane from coming out of the room.  Spane was interviewed by the hospital's on call psychiatrist, and he had some interesting observations.

Specifically, he asked Spane if he was angry at bullies, and Spane said yes. He asked Spane if he wanted to hit the bullies, but if he were afraid.  Spane said he was afraid, and then I realized that Spane was hitting me because he knew that it was safe to hit me instead.

I wanted to hit myself on the head!  Bullies!  Jesus, why had I not seen this way back in June of 2011 when Spane told me about the 42 original bullies in his head.  I could have kicked myself for being so stupid!

They were very nice to us at the hospital, fed us, brought in a bed for me, and even gave Spane a penguin puzzle.  We watched a lot of television, and played word games to keep ourselves occupied.

Finally, Friday night, Loma Linda called and said they had a bed.  Glendale put my son in an ambulance and sent him away.  I went back to the hotel.

Saturday before First Advent Sunday

For those of you who follow The Good Plate, you know that Advent and the Christmas season is important to us. This year, we used our original Advent Wreath, and I posted the information on The Good Plate.

I was excited to go the First Advent Sunday services, and came back from a board meeting at Alexandria's Archives, having discussed plans for the non-profit's new web site I am developing. Margaret Westlake, the founder, is a wonderful woman, and I really appreciate her. I left her home too late to get the regular Glendale bus, so I took the Metro bus, and got back to Brand in time for Saturday confessions. I knew it was important for me to go to confession so I could have Communion on Sunday. Because of that I got home later than I had planned.

Spane was upset that I came home late. He was even more upset when I told him that I had work to do, and that he couldn't get on my computer right away. He was even more upset about that. I told him that we were going to church in the morning, and he seemed a little happy about that.

Finally, amidst Spane complaining about not being able to get on the computer, Stevie told Spane he could use the kid's computer in the house. Not 20 minutes into, Spane came back angrily telling me that he was told to get off the computer and go to bed.

I have to admit, I was a little peeved myself, and went to check this out. Spane had indeed been told to go to bed, and then one of the other children said that Spane was a cry baby. He heard this, and really went off. I knew I was in for a bad night.

To get to the point, with Spane hitting me forcibly with pillow after pillow, at one point, I was so tired I said I gave up. The next thing I knew, Spane had a knife in his hand and he was brandishing it at me. He kept on saying that either he was going to kill me, or he was going to kill himself. I finally got it away from him, and Amber finally got him to go to bed at 5:30 am. We never made it to Mass, but Amber did tell me that we had to leave.

Amber wanted to know why I hadn't asked her to take Spane to the hospital, as he was obviously a danger to himself and others. I just said I was powerless. I felt powerless, unable to really do anything. It was the worst time in my life.

Luckily, I contacted my friend at Alexandria's Archives, and she was able to get me a motel for the week, and a recommendation to a good shelter. We moved out the First Sunday of Advent.

Book Fair is the Fairest

That week of Book Fair was really a lot of fun.  Even though I was dead tired that Monday morning, November 26, 2012, I still had a good time helping the children pick out books, and organized the holds section where children could hold a book for 1 day so they could get money from their parents, or have their parents come in with them.

Friday, Amber and I cleaned up and got all the Book Fair stuff packed up so Scholastic could pick it up Monday morning.

Spane had asked for a book, Darth Paper Strikes Back, a funny little book on Origami.

Wait, Origami Yoda will have more to say as this story continues.

The Mine of Minecraft

So, Spane really wants Minecraft.  Before I bought it, however, I wanted him to try out the demo to see if it was worth buying. 

Spane gets angry very easily. Spane doesn't go to sleep very well either.  Over the summer, I just gave up on trying to get him to sleep on time.  Finally, after 2am, I was too tired and went to sleep without him.  When I got up in the morning, he was asleep on the couch.  This went on like this until I woke up one morning, and he was still awake.  Finally, his clock turned fully around and he was able to go to sleep at 9pm, and then the neighborhood possum snuck into the bedroom and woke him up.

Okay, I know, a possum.  There was a juvenile possum in the neighborhood that had taken to coming in through the back kitchen door and eating Rolo's dry food.  He was very nice and neat about it, never left any food on the floor.  One day, he came in and laid down on Rolo, who was laying down on Spane.  We called the possum Possie, and he was just a baby, so we kind of took him in.

Anyway, this thing with Spane and not sleeping, I told him when school started that I was still going to wake him up at 7am, even if he fell asleep at 6am.  I thought I could retrain his body clock.  I was wrong.

So, this Sunday night, he was all excited about Minecraft, and he was trying to figure out the demo game.  He kept on falling in the water, and getting frustrated and ANGRY. There was really no talking to him, and he wouldn't let me go to sleep like he usually did.  What was really bad was the next day, I had to be at Book Fair at his school, early to set up since Amber and I had no had a chance to do anything that Friday.

His method of not letting me sleep reminded me of what it done to torture prisoners - let them sleep for a few minutes, then wake them up.  That is what he was doing, and it was the same thing that his father used to do.  It made me get into defensive mode, instead of control mode.  I lost, badly.

Happy Birthday, Spane!

Spane's birthday is the day before Thanksgiving this year, just as it was for his third birthday.  We're going over to a friend in Santa Monica for his birthday, were he will be able to play with his long time friend.

Spane said he wanted a red velvet cake for his birthday.  I said I would make him a real Red Velvet cake, as those others just don't taste right.   The Red Velvet Cake recipe was perfect, and everyone enjoyed it.

Spane learned about a new computer game, Minecraft, that he really wants.  I'll have to check it out and see if it's really appropriate.

Zero Tolerance for Bullying

Spane has been really acting up.  At first I thought it was because we had lost our home, and were living with friends.  Then I took him to the park so we could talk privately.

Apparently, despite a policy prohibiting such things, Spane has been a victim of bullying.  He said that kids were calling him dumb, stupid, and other degrading names.  I asked him when this was happening and he said mostly at lunch.  He told me he was spending his recess in the bathroom because he wanted to be left alone.

I felt horrible.  I promised that I would let the school know right away, and that very night, I wrote a letter to the principal.

The next day was Student Store, and I spoke with both the Principal and his teacher.  By that time, he had been in conference with both, and had named names.  His teacher was just aghast that such a thing was happening in his classroom, and he made sure those children were told not to do or say these things again.  His school has a Zero Tolerance on Bullying, but I still think there are some things that can be done.

We'll see how it goes.  The bullying was affecting his grades, homework and reading.  He started liking to read, but then felt too pressured to enjoy it.  Maybe this will help.  I hope so, because I love to read, and hope he will, too.

Back with Our Friends

In the horrible heat of the summer, we moved all of our stuff into storage, and came back to live with Amber.  Spane seems happy, as there is someone to play with, and Rolo is happy, too.

Speaking of Rolo, it was so hot this summer that she lost all her undercoat.  Surprise, she is a HE.  With no undercoat, his little testicles were showing.  I'm sure Rolo is happy to finally be acknowledged as a male, even though he is still wearing the pink collar with the rhinestone encrusted, heart shaped identity tag.  Good cat!

The only thing we have to worry about is making too much noise.  We don't want to disturb the neighbors.  Spane is having a little trouble with that, but we'll see how things progress.